Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Auckland vs Syria

Melvin: I woke up in the morning with the light of the sun on my face. I continued to lie down in my warm bed. As I was falling asleep again, all of a sudden my dad came in shouting “Get ready for school”. I moaned and kicked the blanket off me. As I got up I heard my dad eating like a pig by himself in the kitchen as usual.

Marvin: The sound of people screaming woke me up every morning. Hopping out of my cardboard box in the abandoned building, I walked along the hard stone floor to eventually arrive at my mother’s room three floors down. I had always wondered why people were screaming until I walked outside and saw people getting shot everywhere. “Why are these people doing this”

Slowly I walked into the kitchen with my arms hanging down beside me. I stared at the eggs and bacon for a second. I asked my dad if I could have some, but he said no and told me to wait for my mum. So I moaned even louder making me a bowl of weet-bix instead. I poured the milk in the bowl making the weet-bix soggy.

I then arrived at my boss’s house to finally see what job I was going to have to do today. “Water collecting” he said to me. “Ugh” I said to myself. I was sprinting around town gathering all the buckets possible then filling them up. Delivering was the most hardest part but I wasn't going to give up. I had finished my job for today and finally I could go home.

As I left my school at 3:PM I was feeling hot as the sun shined on me. I felt my back lifting me down because I just finished Athletics training. When I got home I walked in seeing my mum having afternoon tea with my brother and sister. I wasn't hungry I just wanted to go to sleep. But I had to do my chores which was mow the lawn, pull the weeds, water the garden, clean my room and mop the bathroom. But at the end I had play outside and had fish and chips for dinner.

I was making my way home and right behind me was a little boy that looked like he had no home. Almost arriving at my house when he told me a very very sad story. He said to me “My parents died from some bad people cause they had a bomb”. Arriving at home and saying to my mum “this boy has no parents can we live with us?”. “Yes” she replied. We then lived happily ever after.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Melvin,

    The contrasts you've made between Auckland life and life in Syria make for sad reading don't they? Maybe they should put the kids in charge for a bit and clear this mess up :p

    I love how you've put descriptive language into your writing, I can imagine your bowl and its soggy weet-bix :) keep working with that and see what other descriptions you can work into your writing.

    Keep it up :) Mr. Hutchings


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